Home for the Holidays 2: When Arguments Happen!Posted: 15th of December 2014 by
Last Friday we gave you some advice on how you might avoid arguing with your parents while back ‘home’ for the holidays (see ‘Blog’ tab). However, even the best plans can fail from time to time, and you may end up involved in an argument anyway. Don’t let arguments with your parents ruin Christmas, but instead see if you can make the best of a bad situation with our tips for negotiating disagreements over the next few weeks!
Of course, you should do what you can to avoid arguing, and instead try to keep things at the level of a ‘discussion.’ Getting angry, shouting, and losing your temper will only undermine your opinion and how seriously you are taken, so instead, try to stay calm if you can. Also try to avoid arguing over every little thing that may come up – save your energy for things that really matter.
When you find yourself involved in an argument with your parents try to follow a few simple rules to stand a better chance of getting your point across.
The first thing is to let your parents have their say too. Don’t interrupt others when they are talking, but instead show that you are listening. Don’t bring other people into the argument in an attempt to get some support and try to keep on topic. Bringing up past issues will only cause the situation to worsen, when what you are really hoping for is a resolution to the argument. Suggesting compromises can also help build bridges between opposing views, while showing that you are mature enough to have thought things through and seen their side of the argument too.
No matter how angry you feel, you should always stay respectful. Your parents have their own ideas, concerns, and issues – so respecting and recognising this will certainly play in your favour. Don’t expect to get the same outcome if you start a discussion when they are stressed from a hard day at work as you would if they were feeling happy and relaxed.
Being respectful means not shouting (raising your voice indicates a loss of control), remaining calm and refusing to get heated enough to start slamming doors, throwing things or otherwise lashing out. Instead, try to stay calm and rationally explain your viewpoint. Try to keep the discussion going until an agreement is reached – you may have to compromise, but that is preferable to storming off without any type of solution.
Ultimately, you and everyone else wants to have a nice, calm and relaxing time, enjoying each other’s company over the holidays. Stay calm, try to see the other side of the argument, and reach a compromise so that everyone can have a merry Christmas!
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