How To Control Your Own Anxiety & AngerPosted: 22nd of April 2015 by
Do you ever wish you had reacted differently in a situation? Perhaps you got angry while having a discussion with your parents and ended up losing your temper rather than getting your point across? Maybe you got upset with a close friend, or perhaps your anxiety over some upcoming exams is so great that you just can’t seem to stop thinking, and worrying, about them? Controlling your anger and anxiety are two sides of the same coin, and are all about learning how to accept what you can, and you can’t control.
You may wonder why we even need to have feelings like anxiety and anger at all, as they can seem to offer very few benefits in your daily life. However, we need a small dose of each in us. Anxiety can be a catalyst to get something done – like your revision - while anger is a really base response that is designed to help us defend ourselves. While they can both be useful in certain circumstances, you need to be able to control and channel them, or run the risk of letting these emotions control you.
The key to this is in managing unrealistic expectations that you can control everything in your life. This can range from avoiding situations right up to trying to control everything, and thinking everything will go wrong if you’re not in control. This type of thinking will leave you feeling stressed and more prone to anxiety, anger, and can even lead to depression.
Being realistic about what you can, and can’t control, will let you manage where you put your focus. There is no point in focusing too hard on something over which you have no control. Instead of thinking what you should have done, try to test the demands you place on yourself. Are you too hard on yourself, and do you try to do too much? Perhaps you need to prioritise your life, to decide what is important and keep the outcome framed in reality? So, instead of worrying that your world will end if you fail an exam, try thinking “I want to pass this exam, so I will work as hard as I can to do so now, but if I do fail I have options, like re-taking it.” Maintaining a sense of reality can help reduce your anxiety.
If you feel yourself getting anxious or angry, you should also try to simply breathe. Breathe slowly and deeply to relax your heart-rate and calm yourself. It will help prevent you acting impulsively or getting too wound up to think straight. Try counting ten deep breaths as you take them (or more if you need!).
If you find that you are plagued by fears, try writing them down as a list. Grade them to decide which ones are harder to overcome. Starting with one of the easier ones, try to think of a way in which you can tackle your fear and have a go at dealing with it constructively. Think what the worst thing that would happen, and think of how you would deal with it if that happened. Then, finally, have ago at tackling the fear. Starting on smaller concerns will help build your self-confidence too.
You can also list and grade the things that make you feel angry. Notice how far the situations arise because you find you cannot control something – like the actions of others. Being able to accept this and letting go of the need to control could help reduce your anger. You might also like to try channelling this anger in more positive ways – such as through exercise. Blowing off some steam and getting fit at the same time!
Also, if something is bothering you, you need to let it out by communicating it assertively and clearly – yet with self-assurance and politeness…
But that’s another blog altogether, which you can see, below:
When you are looking for an apprenticeship, or your first job, it’s probable that most of your attention will be focused on landing the role. ...
Applying for an apprenticeship can be a very competitive process and many organisations use video interviews as an initial screening process. Most...